The Rock Story

There I was at Patrick A.F.B. in the mid 80's. As a single airman, I found it to be a challenge to occupy my off-duty time. One of my favorite past-times was to visit the Boat House and rent a canoe. Patrick A.F.B. is situated on a long sandbar that sits just off the east cost of Florida. The Atlantic Ocean is on its eastern coast and the Banana River is on its western coast. It was the Banana River that I would launch out and paddle along. Many well to do people had their own boats or gorgeous back yards situated along the edge of the river. I could spend hours paddling along the river and its many canals.

The trouble started one day as I was attempting to paddle south. The wind off the ocean kept turning the canoe west. Being alone, the bow of the little boat was not sitting in the water. This allowed the canoe to turn easily and made steering a course against the wind almost impossible. I needed some weight to counter balance me and push the bow back into the water. I needed a big rock. That was asking a lot, since as I said, Patrick A.F.B. is built on a sand bar. The only thing you find there is sand. I did find a piece on discarded cement. It was like finding gold! It was just heavy enough to put the bow into the water and it was wedge shaped so it fit the canoe like it was made for it. With the rock in place, I enjoyed the rest of the morning.

At noon I got hungry. The thing to do was to go back to the Boat House. They had a snack bar that sold burgers and all things deep fried. On my way back I began to worry about the rock. While eating lunch, what would happen if a dock hand or some kid were to find it? Visions of it going kersplash into deep water is all I could think of. So I looked around for a safe place to put it. Luckily for me there were these huge beams underneath the Boat House which was built out over the river on stilts. Huge poles like telephone poles were driven into the river bed and formed the foundation for this building. There was just enough space for a small boat like mine to pass under the building, and that was the only way to reach these beams that tied the poles together. So I paddled up to a beam, and skillfully offloaded the rock onto it for safe keeping. Then I paddled over to the dock, went inside and ordered some fish and chips.

So there I was just enjoying some deep fried fish and chips when a guy came in. "Ladies and Gentlemen," he said, "this is not a drill. Please evacuate the building immediately." I scooped up my meal and made my way out to the front parking lot along with all the other guests and a few employees. The place had become engulfed with S.P.'s (Security Police) the Air Force's answer to Policeman. They were running around, guiding dogs and there were even a few in a small boat. The Boat House employee that had called us out happened to be right behind me, so I asked him what was going on. He told me that an anonymous caller had seen a suspicious looking individual plating a bomb underneath the Boat House. All they found was my rock, which they took for evidence. I decided to go home and give up canoeing.

I have thought about this miss-adventure often. The lesson of that day was multi pronged. One mans trash is another mans treasure would fit. It could also be pointed out that one should avoid the very appearance of evil. To my defense I had not given any thought to what my actions might appear to be, hence the trouble. But the main point I'd like to make is this. Security is a difficult duty. Those who are employed to provide security, our Police, our Federal Agents and our Military, need to read this story and take note. When faced with a situation, do not panic! Get the facts and evaluate them. If I had planted a bomb, why then did I go inside and sit down to eat a meal right above the bomb? That makes no sense! Why did I plant it in the middle of the day while there were people around to witness the event? And of all the places to hit, why would anyone want to blow up a Boat House? It has no military value or strategic purpose! So the report of a person planting a bomb under the Boat House in the middle of the day should have been responded too with a bit of skepticism. In any case, one officer could have identified the rock as a rock without the assistance of dozen or so other officers. In this post 9/11 era, I think it is good advice to remember that a lot of odd looking things happen for very good and innocent reasons. We don't need to panic.

-Dan.